This is an excerpt from Vegan Minded: Becoming a Steward for Animals, People, and the Planet.

Have you ever experienced the fear of missing out? You know, FOMO? As we glue ourselves to technology and social media day after day, it’s more common than ever to have these feelings. A few years ago I read this article in the New York Times, “How to Make This the Summer of Missing Out: What’s happening? Who cares. Meet JOMO, FOMO’s benevolent younger cousin.”1

JOMO is the joy of missing out. The writer, Hayley Phelan, described a concept I had been experiencing with food, but she was writing about tech. Phelan wrote, “JOMO is about disconnecting, opting out and being O.K. just where you are.”

Because I’m vegan, I miss out on things all the time: the holiday cookies my co-worker brings to the office: the ice cream shop around the corner that my friend says has the best ice cream in the world; the shrimp dish my dad made for dinner after talking about it for days; the cute leather boots I see in the window: and on and on and on it goes. But because I choose to be vegan to protect animals and the planet as well as my own health, I feel the joy of missing out instead.

It’s been years since I experienced FOMO for meat products, but there certainly was a time when I did. Food can be a big and contentious topic—just like sex, money, and politics. If you don’t think so, try inviting your family to Thanksgiving this year for an entirely vegan dinner. Imagine your family sitting around a big table, talking with each other about the past year, maybe there will be a bit of arguing about recent elections or climate change or vaccines. There’s no shortage of controversial topics to explore.

Now consider what will be at the center of your table. Not a turkey.2 What will you be serving this year? How about a stuffed seitan3 roast? Homemade vegan Wellington perhaps? Or a store-bought Tofurkey loaf? Don’t forget about all the side dishes like mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, stuffing, cranberry relish, pumpkin pie, and whatever traditional dishes you enjoy—all vegan, of course.

Now consider how the meal changes the atmosphere. Who is complaining? Who shrugs it off?

It can be difficult being the only vegan at the table—even if you bring food to share. And sometimes, especially if you bring food to share—like the time I brought a couple of vegan dishes to Christmas dinner with my family. The hosts were offended I wouldn’t eat their food! I was offended they expected me to eat animals! It was a mess all around, and not one I have ever wanted to repeat. Ever since then, I have chosen to host holiday meals whenever possible. They are all vegan, of course.

Back to the invitation, it’s my guess that your more traditional family members will not be pleased. In fact some may soon have other plans or they might bring meat dishes to share! Your less traditional family members will likely be a bit more accepting. They might even be excited that you are leading the way.

While my journey to veganism started with the desire to protect animals, veganism is also good for the environment. Very good, in fact. There is joy in knowing that I’m contributing to a climate solution rather than the climate crisis with every meal I eat. According to Drawdown, The Most Comprehensive Plan Ever Proposed to Reverse Global Warming, eating a plant rich diet ranks #4 in terms of the effectiveness of reducing greenhouse gases among existing climate solutions, of which there are 80.4 This solution is available to almost everyone the world over, but especially us in the United States, one of the biggest contributors to greenhouse gases.

It’s easy for me to wonder why more people don’t join me on this journey when it’s been proven to benefit the planet and we desperately need to solve the climate crisis, but I think I know why they don’t.

Change is hard, and socially, it’s easier to fit in at the dinner table by eating meat, following long held beliefs and traditions. But once I got over that fear—that I would be different or miss out, I could easily embrace the joy of being vegan. And once that happened, my whole world changed. In fact, I wish I would have made the change sooner (said every vegan ever).

When I first switched to a vegan diet, I read the book, Voices from the Garden. This book is filled with wonderful essays on living vegan. One particular essay stood out for me. In Because I Care, Erin Moore wrote about missing out. She explains, “I’ve heard people say, ‘I could give up meat, but I couldn’t give up milk and cheese,’ or some variation thereof. ‘Don’t you miss ice cream? Don’t you miss ______?’ I answer that I don’t miss it. ‘Indeed,’ I add, ‘there is no point to missing it, because I will never have it again.’ Life is not about getting everything you desire, no matter the consequences. It is not about only us. It is about the system that surrounds and envelops us all. We can’t always have everything we want—and we should probably make sure we don’t.”5

Every time I make, buy, or learn about an alternative product that doesn’t use animals, I feel a sense of satisfaction. It makes me happy to see the world changing. Every new vegan product found at the grocery, every new vegan recipe published online, and every vegan restaurant opening its doors for the first time—especially during the pandemic—makes my heart sing. Being vegan is fun. I experiment more in the kitchen, flexing a new creative muscle. My taste buds delight in eating new dishes, especially the ones I have made myself. Non-dairy ice cream and cheeses along with plant-based meat alternatives have come a long way in recent years. Many vegan cheeses melt now!6 I’m so glad these alternatives are available and widely so, making it easier than ever to joyfully eat a plant-rich diet. While vegan alternatives may not taste exactly like the animal-based counterparts, most provide similar flavor and texture as the animal products they’re replacing. I find it easy to get used to the difference because I know it’s not harming the planet or any animals. And let’s not forget about all foods that are naturally vegan: fruits, vegetables, beans, legumes, whole grains, nuts, and seeds.

My life and diet are richer since becoming vegan. Many cultures eat plant-based dishes as standard fare. In non-pandemic times I frequented ethnic restaurants regularly. It’s fun to experience other cultures in this way. Ethiopian, Soul, Mexican, and Middle Eastern foods top my list. Food is something we all have in common, so why not embrace a wider array of foods and dishes, while discovering different flavors, and possibly learning about and even understanding other cultures because of it. Before becoming vegan, I ate a lot of cheese and very few vegetables, not much variety. Now I find joy in eating healthy, flavorful plant-rich meals. I’m comfortable frequenting all kinds of establishments from hole-in-the-wall dives with the best mushroom burritos to five star restaurants, serving the same kinds of mushrooms in unique and creative ways. There is joy in all of this as well as a sense of ease.

I know I’m not missing out on anything that matters—except animal cruelty, taking down the planet, and heart disease. Why would I want to fit in if that’s what I’m contributing to? JOMO is about reconnecting to what matters most and finding a place in the world where joy is possible is the only place I want to be. So, this Thanksgiving, why not give yourself the gift of joy? Put down your phone, save a turkey, and enjoy some delicious vegan food.

1 Phelan, Hayley. “How to Make This the Summer of Missing Out.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 12 July 2018, https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/12/style/joy-of-missing-out-summer.html.

2 According to the National Turkey Federation, 224 million turkeys were raised for food in the United States in 2020. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) estimate that 46 million turkeys are slaughtered for Thanksgiving dinner annually and an additional 22 million are killed for Christmas dinner.

3 Seitan is made using gluten and spices. It’s also known as “wheat meat.” Seitan provides a “meaty” and savory alternative to eating animals.

4 Hawken, Paul, et al. “Food: Plant Rich Diets.” Drawdown: The Most Comprehensive Plan Ever Proposed to Reverse Global Warming, Penguin Books, New York, NY, NY, 2017, pp. 39–40. More most updated rankings, visit the Drawdown website.

5 Towns, Daniel, et al. “Because I Care.” Voices from the Garden: Stories of Becoming a Vegetarian, Lantern Books, New York, NY, 2001, pp. 89.

6 If you asked five vegans to name their favorite vegan cheese, you would get five different answers. It all comes down to personal preference. My favorite cheese for pizzas is Daiya brand, but many people I know don’t like it. I love it! I also enjoy Miyoko artisan cheeses with crackers and making my own for grilled cheese sandwiches. Experiment! Try several to find your favorite. I’m still experimenting. That’s part of the joy of being vegan.